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Data Paradise Lost, Book One – with apologies to Milton

God, who is The Minister’s Office, realizes that Lucifer, who is evaluation and research, view themselves as above God, and have bamboozled God with intricate and incomprehensible statistics and tables.

God throws Lucifer (evaluation) from the firmament – they fall through an abyss for ten fiscal years and land in cubicles far from the top floor.

Lucifer (now Satan) and fellow fallen angel Beelzebub (actually from Communications, Beelzebub also hates God because God doesn’t value his design degree) awake to find themselves in the underworld with no influence.

Lucifer flies with Beelzebub and the other evaluators and researchers from the fiery lake of cubicles, lamenting the desolation as compared to the top floors.

Lucifer, with Beelzebub, trying to make the best of it, vow to henceforth fight against the tyranny of policy & programs and, not to corrupt all of God’s work, (as did the real Lucifer and Beelzebub in the real Paradise Lost), but to get back in good with God.

They summon their armies and gird themselves with their terrible armour of simplistic visualizations and colourful designs.

Here’s where we must intercede, else…

… more to come in Book 2, wherein the executives Adam and Eve, living in the Garden of Evidence-Based Policy, are offered the apple of Infographics by the snake Deliverology.